DELHI DRIVING ETIQUETTES (PART 1)

AAAAAAAH THE DELHI TRAFFIC !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Driving around Delhi is such a bloody pleasure. It is the best, but only between 2am and 4 am. And anytime beyond that time frame the Delhi roads are just transformed into this 2012 doomsday movie scene where there is mayhem all around and everyone is running for their lives. Except here everyone is out to take someone else’s.

Let me now take you through all the aspects of Delhi traffic.

On Delhi roads size does matter… if you have a vehicle that is huge you have the right of way. It is like this virtual license you have which allows you to tear down the traffic lights and eyeball anyone and everyone who has a smaller sized vehicle.

Eyeballing is a skill one has to learn when on Delhi roads. If you master this art you know you are “RIGHT”. And you know you have a competitor when a fellow comrade eyeballs you equally.
when driving on Delhi roads please install horns that yell Be#$@%^od (pencho) and Ma%^&&^od (macho….for those who are not familiar with Hindi, macho in Hindi is a slang and quite contrary to being domineering, fierce, brave…in a nutshell it just means “fucker” and literally meaning a mofo) because it will save you a lot of energy and trouble as these words are most commonly used and will eventually become a habit when through the course of a day of driving in Delhi one would use it at least 23,456 times.

one of the pre requisites of driving in Delhi is to learn such Hindi slang’s because otherwise one would immediately think you are an outsider and would definitely take you for a ride.
every person who drives in Delhi has the same feeling. And its funny coz its just something we delhiites are born with. Everyone thinks he/she owns the damn road and would immediately flip if someone just slightly even hint them that they just might be wrong.
from where I stay in traffic lights are just three bulbs of different colours, it wouldn’t matter if they were of any other colours other than red yellow and green.
lane driving is a concept that is obsolete here. We are so advanced we have devised a kind of driving called “spot driving”. Literally this would mean a jam packed road will of course have some vacant spots and your efficiency is judged by how you manage to shift from one spot to the other while still on the road.

oh yes I almost forgot unlike most of the right hand drive nations in the world the right most lane in delhi is never the fastest lane ,so if you do want to get somewhere fast and you end up taking the rightmost lane you would definitely just end up listening to quality radio broadcasts which delhi I must say is great at.

and amidst all this chaos are those bikers. That is just icing on the cake. Delhi roads are like the worlds toughest obstacle course created by the god himself.bikes and scooters and auto rickshaws would just randomly park themselves in the most disoriented positions along the road while still traveling.


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